The results are in

I went up to Johns Hopkins on Wednesday for a hearing test and to meet with Dr. C. On the cab ride over, I had a strange feeling, like I was returning to the scene of the crime. First I had a hearing test, and the results were not surprising: I am completely deaf in my left ear, but I have perfect hearing in my right. Even though that's what I expected to find out, it was still a little sad to get that news. I had another strange feeling when the audiologist was testing the left ear and I literally could not hear anything. She would say, "OK, listen for the beeps," and I would sit there in anticipation until the test was over, having not pushed the button once.

Then I went to my appointment with Dr. C. One of his residents came in first to talk to me about things. We discussed the BAHA, and I agreed to do the demo, even though I'm not really interested in getting it at this time. During the demo, a headband with the processor mounted on one side is placed on your head, so the BAHA processor can pick up sounds and transfer them through bone conduction. It's not as good as having the real thing (the post screwed into your head), but the results are interesting, nonetheless. The resident and I walked and talked for a few paces, with him being on my left side. I could hear him pretty well, so it definitely works.

Dr. C came in later and we talked about the BAHA a little more. He said that some people get along fine without it, and for some people, it makes a world of difference. I told him that I've been getting along fine without it so far, that there's maybe one incident per week where I get frustrated that I can't hear on that side, but that I seem to have adapted pretty well overall. It hasn't stopped me from going to work, going out to dinner in restaurants, or attending happy hours where I don't know anyone. So for me, I think it makes sense to wait until I really feel like I need it, and maybe there will be even better technology at that point. No sense in getting a post permanently screwed into my head if I don't really need one. Plus, getting a BAHA would make me one step closer to being completely bionic (I already have the insulin pump), and that's no good!

Then he checked my balance by doing the thing where I look at the tip of his nose and he turns my head back and forth quickly to see how well my eyes stay focused. After many head whips (not really sure what to call them) to test the knowledge of the resident and scare the medical student who was in the room, Dr. C declared that my right side has completely compensated for the loss of the vestibular nerve on the left side, and I was dizzy. It went away pretty quickly though. He also asked me to raise my eyebrows, shut my eyes tight, smile wide, and whistle. I passed this test with flying colors.

The next thing I have to look forward to in my "adventures with manny" is an MRI next February or March. Then I will meet with Dr. T to go over the results of that test, and Dr. C would like to see me again as well.

I am very thankful that things have turned out so well. Except for a couple of days after discontinuing the steroid, I have had no facial weakness. My balance is excellent. I have been able to adjust to single-sided hearing. No headaches, no pain. And my tumor is gone. I wish that everyone could be so lucky.

Seven-month update

I had a scare over the past couple of weeks where I thought I had made negative progress. My neck was a little stiffer than it had been, and my scar area was more sore than usual. I think I irritated the muscles in my shoulder area by carrying some heavy groceries for too long. Now that it's two weeks later, it's feeling better again, and I have a reminder to not overdo it.

No new news on the crying/tears front. I haven't been able to test it again...guess I need to watch a sappy movie or something.

My hair loss has stopped; it lasted about a month. My endocrinologist said that it's common for that to happen after a stressful event. I think brain surgery counts.

I go to see Dr. C in two weeks for a hearing test and discussion about what I'd like to do in terms of getting a hearing aid or not. As frustrating as it is sometimes to not be able to hear, I definitely don't want to do anything at this point. I'm bionic enough as it is. And it's kind of funny when I think voices at the office are coming from one direction, only to find out that they're actually behind me. Yeah, funny. In a groan-inducing way. I dunno, maybe it's not that funny. But I don't want any more surgery any time soon.

Crying with two eyes

Great news! I think I have my tears back in my left eye. Something funny happened at work today that made me laugh so hard I cried. I grabbed a tissue to wipe my eyes and realized an hour or so later that I had been dabbing at both eyes! I think it's back!! I'll have to confirm with another crying session, but for now, I am going to say that it has returned for good. Yay!!

Accepting loss

It's only recently started to sink in that this hearing loss will be with me forever. When I was first diagnosed, I didn't really cry or get upset, I just dealt with what needed to be done. It wasn't until five months into it or so that it really hit me. Likewise, since surgery, I've just been dealing with SSD, and it's been fine for the most part. But now, about five months later, I'm realizing that this issue isn't going to go away; in fact, it will be with me forever. Now, I know I could get a BAHA hearing device or something similar, but that's not going to change the fact that I will never hear "normally" again. I guess you could say that I'm going through a kind of grieving process right now. But optimism will prevail!

Hair loss

For the past month or so, I've been losing a lot of my hair. Not balding, per se, but my hairbrush gets filled up pretty quickly. I thought it might be because I stopped taking those prenatal vitamins, but I figured it would slow down after a couple of weeks if it was that. I'd say this has been going on since the beginning of May. I did some Googling and found that hair loss is common 3–4 months after a major surgery. That fits my timeframe. But it didn't say how long it will last :(

Still here

Just wanted to pop in and say hi - not much new stuff to report on the acoustic neuroma front right now. Things are feeling pretty good.

Thanks for the support

I went to my third ANA D.C.-area support group meeting this past Saturday. The date was exactly three months post-surgery, and the people at the meeting were quite amazed with my progress. It was nice to have come full circle, from being newly diagnosed at the first meeting to being a week away from surgery at the second meeting to being pretty much fully recovered at the third meeting. I am planning to continue to go to most meetings in the future, at least for awhile, because I think it's helpful for newly diagnosed people to hear from others who've been through treatment and have only relatively minor issues.